Don't you just love one gnar flem-induced cough followed by the early signs of illness first thing upon rising? Getting sick. As the fatigue sinks in and San Diego gets hotter, all I can think about is that uncomfortable tickle: you know that phase, where a slight dry pain dances with clearing your throat. The right before/in-between stage. In-between stages seem to never be a whole lot of fun; its not satisfying enough.

I think the same thing can be said about my walk. You know when you're at a point where you have already given up the tangible distractions quite some time ago, and recently have had overflowing encounters and lessons with God, but some how you've found yourself in a spiritual "come down?" Nothing obvious and tangible is holding you back, but you stop excelling towards Him. I think God was revealing so much to me, and I was learning so much so quickly, that I got too confident...too comfortable and I just eased up on the gas pedal a little to much.

In meeting tonight God most definitely gave me the conviction I needed to hear:

This life is not mine.

Lately I have noticed that I have been selfish with my time here in this world. I've been deciding when I would read my Bible, when I would do my devos and when I would pour out (to both people I love and strangers.) I keep seeing this man at Starbucks, and every single time I see him, God tells me to talk to him-just as He did when I met the man just-released from prison at Santanas, or the guy sitting alone on campus, or the girl who just found out she was pregnant at alter call and countless others. Each of those times I was able to show God's love in a simple yet bold way. All these accounts continue to give me proof that in listening to God and following through in each calling, God will not fail me; for each of those people, God will give me the opportunity to help them in some way or another.

Trust or opportunity is not the issue. Rather, with this guy at Starbucks, I put off talking to him purely out of not wanting to. I can see it now, I get to heaven and God asks me "Why didn't you talk to the man at Starbucks? Or...etc." and of course my response would be "In my defense God, I just really wasn't in the mood." Figuring I can always listen to/obey God and spread His word later just really isn't cutting it.

This life is not mine.