Take more than words, take LIFE from this

There I sat alone in my car in the parking lot of "San Diego Center for the Blind," listening to "Connected" by Means. Again...again. One last time...again.
Over the last few days my slight obsession with this song has turned into a somewhat healthy infatuation (or at least I'd like to think its healthy.) It is crazy how my walk with God influences the depth of the lyrics to this song. Seven months have flown by since I first heard "Connected," but it seems as though my previous understanding of the lyrics were shallow, for only recently is it that God reveals simple truths when I worship to this song.
The two voices, the loud and the soft seem to symbolize aspects of God's nature: powerful yet gentle. Two opposing methods of singing fit so beautifully together in one song that I can't help but be reminded of God's perfection: how he is both feminine and masculine, father and son, king and friend...the list goes on: He is perfect.

I am sending you strength. God does send us strength: we have The Bible, we have community, we have our testimony.
We can't forget were connected. We are connected: through the Bible and translated by the Holy Spirit we hear God...As brothers and sisters in Christ we have unique bonds.
No matter where you are nothing changes. God's love for us is never changing: completely unconditional regardless of our physical location or spiritual condition.
You make me stronger than I could ever know. Although we love God, we don't fully submit our trust; we find ourselves questioning and worrying over situations as if we've forgotten who created the Mountains.
You can take these words....Take life from this. God gives us truth, the key to eternal life. In turn we offer our words and our lives-the way we live and who we live for.

How beautiful, how simple. Never, can God fail us. Although it takes our walking away, whether it be out of shame, anger or arrogance, for us to realize where our "home" lies, when we find home- its that much more glorious.

listen to Connected

Unstoppable

How can it be that I spent 3 hours listening to one of the most intellectual persons I have ever met dissect and explain his beliefs in Atheism, yet my faith remains completely undisturbed and even somewhat solidified? Last night at The Living Room, I kept on looking at this guy (I know what you're thinking...no.) "How do I know him? Why does he look so familiar? Why can't I remember where I have met him?" were the questions I asked myself. Before I knew it I found myself staring at him and it became apparent he found myself staring at him too. In failing to identify him and in too many awkward attempts to meet eyes and have half conversations of "do I know you?"..."no," I decided to just let it be. Trying to get back to homework was impossible: not just because I was at the same table as Matey and Tootsie, but because I had an overwhelming desire to talk with him. I knew this feeling, this was an undeniable nudge from God-'its time to work.' So I waved him over and he came and sat with us. Almost instantly our conversation took off in the familiar route of beginning with high school, proceeding to music then to straightedge and finally to Christian hardcore...perfect.
Shortly after May and Toots peaced, he was telling me all about his up-brining in Catholicism, the questions his teachers could never answer, the logic he found in Atheism, and his disagreement with many organized institutions and empires in both government and religion.
Different from the approach I took in Tampa, I decided this conversation about religion would be different-"how does God want me to handle this?" Listen. So I sat there, and listened. He reminded me of a child hungry for knowledge-the kind that always asked "why?" after every statement. It was clear that he is a thorough guy, seeking all the facts-cautious and some what skeptical about who filtered the knowledge before he takes it in.
Somehow, his hunger for knowledge gave me peace. It was as if God was teaching me not to be afraid of exposure to the world's knowledge; that we are not slaves to other's interpretation of fact. God told me, "you're okay...you're faith is rooted in me and I am not rooted in the world."
And yes, God was right. I was okay.

I learned that theories, opinions and "absolutes" will not adversely influence my faith; regardless of how eloquent or convincing they seem, I have an undeniable relationship with God and it is unstoppable ;)

How soothing, what peace.

Praying for your family, Michael Weiss

Just found out a friend from high school died last night due to an accidental drug overdose. He was found dead in his dorm room around midnight.

Why must it sometimes take death for us to realize how temporary life is?

Who have you been living for? Are you really?

In Florida too

Long before I got here, and even started praying for my stay, God planned for me to meet Aunt MJ. She is my aunt's sister, completely unrelated to me-on the side my uncle married into-but very much my sister-in-Christ. Talking to her made everything real again: God IS here, actively working, even in Florida.
Not too long ago MJ took my aunt to church; it seems to be a perfect act of God to have sent me to Tampa shortly after my aunt's introduction to a whole congregation of "Jesus people." God is persistent.

The day after our whole religious beliefs conversation ordeal, my aunt called her sister MJ and asked if she would help me "sort things out." Tonight, with very little "forewarning" about when we would talk or what all MJ believes, my little cousin hands me the phone and says "its for you." Completely hesitant, I say a quick prayer to myself, and we start talking.

How intricately GOD entangles His children's lives.

Needless to say, I have found another mentor and PRAISE THE GOOD LORD we're connected by more than just praying for the same people; someone solid in Christ and in my Florida family.

I love how much HE cares for us.

On a side note:
I found out from Nana we had a Great Aunt Millie (how wedding-crashers-esc) and my cousins and I decided to keep Nana's family names going; I'm changing my last name to Mazzola and Rach is changing hers to Scafado. Next time I come back, Uncle Nicky and Uncle Tommy are going to tell us stories about my great-grandparents' meat shop. Gotta love the Italians.

Mesmerize Me, Oh Lord.

Today a flash flood in heaven drained unto the earth...declaring His majesty to all of Tampa, Florida.

How fascinating it is to witness a sudden downfall mid-afternoon in the midst of 75 degree weather. I felt like I was in LOST and God, like the essence of the island, was declaring his power to all of the...neighborhood, yet at the same time seducing me with His mysterious beauty.

What a lovely fear accompanied by awe a typical afternoon rain in Florida can do for a girl seeking His presence. How mesmerizing...

He is Faithful.

From my favorite book of all, Tim says:

If we have died with him, we will also live with him;
if we endure, we will also reign with him;
if we deny him, he also will deny us;
if we are faithless, he remains faithful-
for he cannot deny himself.

2 Timothy 2:11-13


God is good.

This morning my mom came into my room to apologize, yet again. Somehow, our conversation was graceful and ended in "thank you for listening" and "sorry I hurt you" from both ends. Concerning her need for a committed promise in a degree, she even said she would pray about it.
Amazing how 6 hours of sleep and desperate prayer could rekindle what for some families result in days (or years?) without speaking.

Truly the Lord has blessed me, last night-more than an experience-is a lesson I can take to the bank.